When I started this, I was worried that I would quickly run out of things to say. Thankfully, festival has put a LOT on my mind, and given me a bunch of different events, encounters, and reflections to talk about here. I guess I'll start with the easiest/shortest thing to say, and work my way down the list every day or two.
So, our quintet played Ewald in the young artists gala tonight. This was the third time performing it in three days, and as much as I said otherwise, I wasn't impressed with the first two performances. Mostly, I wasn't impressed with myself (I have this thing in ensembles where, I'll hear everyone else playing the notes, but I'll be completely unaware of their accuracy and general level of success/failure, so I have a hard time assessing how other people in the ensemble played). I just really wasn't speaking through the horn like I needed to, and sounded generally feeble.
Then something happened, and I'm not sure what. I have a theory, but I don't know if it's accurate. Today was the first rehearsal day for the Concerto Orchestra, which is playing a concert on Sunday (Stravinsky for piano and winds, Beethoven triple, and Rachy 3). I had a rough start as usual, but once we got into it, I felt like life was slowly flowing back into me. It was as if being back into an orchestra rejuvenated the motivation that I lost after the youth orchestra season ended. When I played the concert tonight, I had my old orchestra sound, my old orchestra accuracy. I completely nailed it. I DEFINITELY wouldn't call it perfect, but it was my some of my best playing since the end of the last season.
Yet again, this proves it for me. Proof that I want to be an orchestral trumpet player. Proof that I HAVE to be an orchestral trumpet player. That I'm going to stop at nothing until I achieve this goal of mine. And, with a new drive of motivation, I feel like that goal isn't entirely out of reach.
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