Hey everyone! In my need to take my mind off of the Inferior Holiday, I decided I would compile a big ol' list... top Hector Berlioz facts of the day! Also, the bottom facts, as they're the only ones you're getting (Unless I come up with more before the end of the day)! Hoping to make this a tradition, ideally with new facts every year.
Mankind discovered fire when Hector Berlioz first picked up the guitar.
Hector Berlioz wrote a Christmas carol. There were no survivors.
Hector Berlioz' parents didn't want him to be a musician, so he took up the orchestra.
French maids dress up as Hector Berlioz for Hallowe'en.
Leopold Mozart could never be completely proud of his son because he kept comparing him to Hector Berlioz.
Franz Schubert didn't die young, he was merely elevated to a higher plane of being after hearing Symphonie Fantastique.
Chuck Norris reads hectorberliozfacts.com
Richard Wagner had to invent new instruments because Hector Berlioz had exhausted the orchestrational potential of all existing ones.
The urtext of Symphonie Fantastique is seven years long and visible from outer space.
Hector Berlioz released a recording of 4'33" so expressive, it brought Claude Debussy to tears.
Hector Berlioz doesn't need piano skills, piano skills need Hector Berlioz.
Ludwig van Beethoven became deaf after hearing Symphonie Fantastique and realizing nothing would ever compare.
You can play on the string, and you can play off the string; Hector Berlioz plays inside the string.
Robert Schumann's syphilitic hallucinations were merely the result of a performance of Symphonie Fantastique somewhere in the same country as him.
Hector Berlioz is responsible for the untimely deaths of over twenty E-flat clarinet players a year.
Hector Berlioz can stop-mute a trumpet.
The doors at the French Academy in Rome don't keep strangers out, they keep Hector Berlioz in.
Symphonie Fantastique is so beautiful, it makes onions cry.
Hector Berlioz' tears are the active ingredient in both rosin and valve oil.
The second coming has not yet happened because Hector Berlioz is holding out for a better price for the rights to Lélio.
Niccolo Paganini refused to perform Harold in Italy because nobody would return to see future shows in which the music was inferior.
The Bible is merely the rough draft for Treatise on Instrumentation.
In Soviet Russia, Berlioz Hector's YOU!
Numerological studies of Symphonie Fantastique have discovered predictions on ever event that has ever transpired, including you reading this fact.
Hector Belioz' orchestration puts the synth in absynthe.
Hector Berlioz can play Paganini's first violin concerto on a vuvuzela.
Symphonie Fantastique was actually the divine music heralding Hector Berlioz' birth; he was just the only one man enough to write it down.
Franz Liszt's active sex life is a direct result of his being a springboard to get to Hector Berlioz.
Hector Berlioz can timbrally emulate his entire works on the guitar, flawlessly.
Hector Berlioz invented phasing as a response to his own experiences with opium.
Hector Berlioz fell in love once. The earth's axis has been crooked ever since.
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