Hello fellow people of teh interwebs!
So, I did my recordings for a few auditions a couple weeks ago, and... enh, I'm never satisfied with myself. I just... I don't really like what I sound like played back. I wonder sometimes if your sound is like your voice, in that what you hear isn't what the audience hears. I know that it IS true for certain aspects of sound (length and attack, for example, change drastically in different halls), but I don't know if the TONE itself is different for the performer and the audience member. And, y'know, it's kind of impossible to know unless we're able to extract the data straight from the performer's brain, and cross-reference it with data from the listener's brain. Which, for now, doesn't seem like a practical use of scientific funding.
I guess the one thing that really killed me was my picc excerpt... I should have done it first, before any of the rep, even if it risked me being a little tired for the rep. I did all the rep (an HOUR'S WORTH, just about) in one go, then took a break, then did the excerpts after that. Picc suffered because of it, but I did surprise myself in one respect: I made it through the damn thing. I survived a three-hour session that I REALLY didn't know I could do. And sure, I might've been audibly wearing down by the end, but when I think back to the solo recital I did two years ago, I could barely last a half-hour. That's like a 600% increase in endurance, right there. That's not too shabby.
So yeah, I'll go back through the recordings, and maybe put a sample up for you guys. Nothing with piano, for Union reasons, but maybe something of just myself doing an excerpt or two. Could be cool, for anyone who hasn't heard me ever or in a while.
I've also got my plan set for three live auditions I'm doing. First one, I'll be travelling to the city Dad lives in, and staying with him for a few days. I also get to see Lucca again, one of my best friends ever, so that's exciting. And even getting to see that trumpet prof again (the one I mentioned did the masterclass back in November) is going to be awesome.
Random thought: listening to Shostakovich 5 (Bernstein @ New York), which the youth orchestra's working on. WOW, this thing needs piano. We've been rehearsing without, and it's SOOOO MUCH BETTER with. Luckily, next weekend, we'll have both orchestras, and the piano.
Then, I'll be heading straight to another city in the same region for a second audition, and staying with Gisèle, a comp student that graduated last year, and the most cheerfully positive person you'll ever meet. She actually wrote a piece for me and Ryu (an amazingly charming and kick-ass piano student) last year. She's starting work on a brass quintet, so I'll see if the guys want to try it out back at home. Funny thing, Thalberg and I have our auditions right after each other, so that's kind of amusing. XD
Then, come March, I get to go down one country and audition at a big city there, which is basically Brasstown. No one to stay with there, so I'll be hotelling it up, but I'm pretty stoked for this to go down. I haven't been down south in several years, so had to go get my passport done up.
Hopefully, y'know, ONE of these will work out. I'm getting really restless with this year, I need new horizons, new opportunities... I just need SOMETHING to make it seem like all this work is going to pay off. The Phalanx all have legit jobs in the field, and though I'm not interested in army work, I'm a bit envious of that, just, SOMETHING that they have. That security of "all my hardships, learning, growth, etc has a purpouse."
Well, we'll see what happens. I'm sure I can rise to the challenge, even when the opposition steps up its game to degrees unheard of in a small city with a starving music programme. Grad school, here I come. Get ready for this trumpet player to unlock his inner Super Saiyan... I swear, it's going to happen. I'm going to do this. Motivation, let's GO! >:D
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