First off, the orchestra. This was a project started by two people in the area, and they've really put everything on the line for it. And it's been much more successful than I had anticipated. I've played with them only last summer and this, and I've noticed an improvement in ability and morale over the past year of my not-being-there-enough-to-not-notice-gradual-things. It just seemed like a much better attitude this time around. I still miss the youth orchestra, but that's okay. I'm not sure how ALL the competition stacks up at my new school (they've had trumpets in the National Youth Orchestra, so that's a thing), but I just hope I make it into the school orchestra, I can't stand going from two to none. I mean... I am one of only two doing a masters degree, you'd think I should be able to, but I can't just go around underestimating the other students, so for the sake of making sure I'm prepared for the audition, I'm going to assume that every one of them has the potential to oust me.
This concert's gimmick was that there was music and dramatics going on at (mostly) the same time, and instead of short scenes, the four pieces were actually one long production, like a movie or something where you sit through the whole thing before applauding (this is where you go "Silly person whose name I don't actually know if I'm one of the random people that doesn't know you in real life, people don't clap at movies" and I go "You didn't see Deathly Hallows Part 2 in theatres"). I'm not entirely sure what the plot was, since, y'know, I was PLAYING a lot of the time. Something about a woman whose husband is killed while at sea and then she goes crazy and thinks the ocean IS her husband...? Maybe? Let's go with that.
Now, of course, I have to rant about how I, personally, did. That's like, what I do here. And you guys read it. Maybe. It's actually kind of silly. Anyways, if I'm really nice to myself, then there were some pretty excellent moments. Except, me being the masochistic musician everyone really has to be, I've decided that every time I have excellent moments, I change my scale so that those are considered "standard" moments, which really just means a larger percentage of what I played is now sub-par moments. Yes, that's silly and demoralizing, but that's the kind of thing that I need. If you ever need a kick in the pants to improve, take what used to be excellent, and make it your norm. All of a sudden, your usual doesn't cut it, EVERYTHING has to be what was, yesterday, excellent.
But, you know what? It works. I'm used to hating things about how I play, so I can deal with that, and I think that's something you really need as a musician. A lot of people I know (anyone reading this thinks I'm singling them out, go stand over there with the other fifty people I know who probably also think that) have the advantage of having always been the local maximum. Best in your high school, for example. Well, when you get to a certain level, everyone who's left has the advantage of having been best in their high school, and eventually best in their university. So, all of your competition is waving that same flag of entitlement. I had the advantage of not having any chances at a young age of being the best in any particular group, so I'm used to always having to work at surpassing people, and I don't plan to stop that any time soon. However, there are a lot of people who seem to think they're there already, and if that's what you think, my lesson to you is thus: maybe you should adjust your scale. Bump your expectations up a few degrees. And don't use being a student as an excuse, your time as a student is ever-diminishing.
I have a few stories to keep people tied through the rest of the summer (including the next installment of Mahl Wars), and then I'll be moving cross-country at the end of August, so get ready for lots of exciting experiences! This is where you'll hear it
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